You can never get rid of the curse of the beagle

Halloween ain’t over, Rover! It’s time to do the Monster Mash at the Beagle Bash!

Just when you thought it was safe to answer your door now that the ghosts and goblins have disappeared until next year, there’s a monster on the loose! He’s a one-eyed, one-tailed, flyin’ purple tennis-ball eater and he’s determined to celebrate ‘Howl’oween all year round!

There have been reported sightings on the beach, which have led to chilling close encounters! That’s because this li’l one-eyed monster likes to give mega monster hugs, the kind that make you tingle all over. First, he places his paws strategically on your lap. Then, once he’s got your full attention, he zombifies you with his spell-binding one-eyed stare. You’re toast after that. You cannot resist the hug that follows, which ultimately transforms you into the cheese melting on the toast. The hug leads to kisses, and the kisses lead to the point of no return.

Make no mistake – he’s so cute, he’s scary!

So how do I know so much about this mind-melting beach monster? I guess it’s because he tricked me into opening my door and he’s been haunting my house (and heart) ever since.

It all started when I got an email from a shelter in Ohio about a month ago. Attached to its plea for help was a picture of a beagle that was clearly missing an eye. He’d been wandering the moors of rural Ohio with a two-eyed goblin girl of similar beagle persuasion. His moor-mate, later dubbed Scarlet JoHOWLson, was also in need of rescue. She’s an old goblin and they don’t get as much attention as the young ones. Similarly, goblins missing an eye are often too scary for those easily spooked by veterinary bills. So the two unwanted goblins kindly offered to swap goose-bumps for refuge with Big On Beagles (BOB) Rescue, an assistance agency for beagles experiencing troubled times. Lucky for them, we love getting goose-bumps.

Scarlet JoHOWLson (shelter name, Trixie the Trickster) is currently entertaining her foster parents in Welland with a plethora of adorable tricks in exchange for treats, while the one-eyed monster decided to treat me to his spine-tingling presence post-surgery. Upon examination, our vet concluded the missing eye to be a birth defect rather than an injury which only required sewing closed to prevent infection.

Choosing a name for our recovering patient/resident spine-tingler was next on the agenda.  Although highly accurate, One-eyed One-tailed Flyin’ Purple Tennis-Ball Eater was much too long. We tried Porthos initially, but it seemed frighteningly pretentious for your average down-to-earth monster. We finally agreed upon Cy. What Cy is short for, however, is up for debate. Foster Daddy insists it short for Cyclops…the horror! I prefer to think it short for Cyril, more dignified than pretentious and definitely uncommon.

Some folks might describe all beagles as monstrous. I’m willing to concur, depending on how they define monster of course. Monsters can be scary, but don’t forget the monster with the heart of gold! Beagles fall under that category. One minute, they’re stealing treats from the counter while piercing your very soul with their demon eyes. The next minute, they’re doing the Monster Mash with you and all the bad stuff vanishes like a ghost caught in a flashlight beam. Such is the charmingly wicked way of the beagle, and beagle lovers would have it no other way. An equally wicked sense of humour protects us from any serious harm. That’s not to say we’re completely immune to monster manipulation. Beagles are masters of manipulation. Why else would I have chosen to rescue bad-to-the-bone beagles instead of angel-fish?

Fortunately, I’m not the only one fallen prey to the curse of the beagle. Our numbers are many and, every November, we ban together and throw one howl of a party on their behalf. This year marks our sixth Annual Beagle Bash for Cash! The party room at Pawsway is sure to be bursting at the seams with beagles and their servants again this year. You’re also certain to see other dog breeds in attendance hoping to learn the fine art of manipulation while supporting the cause with their unsuspecting owners.

The truth is there really is no such thing as the curse of the beagle. I’m just pulling your pant leg, a trick I no doubt learned from…a beagle. If falling madly in love with a bodacious beagle like The Cy Guy is a curse, I never want it lifted. I can think of a lot worse afflictions than laughing all the time.

Yesterday was Halloween. Today is All Saints Day. The innocent-looking beagle pictured here? Just call him Saint Cy.

Cy is a ruffly two-year-old marvelously monstrous mix of Beagle and Basset Hound, trick-or-treating everyone into loving him unconditionally at Big On Beagles (BOB) Rescue, www.bigonbeagles.ca. Help keep the spell of the beagle forever cast by joining us for the monster ball of the year – our 6th Annual Beagle Bash for Cash! on Nov. 27 at Pawsway!


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